my lifelong teammate

When I was sixteen, I’d cry every Sunday before going back to school on Monday. But I had amazing friends at school, had all A’s, and loved my classes.  When I was seventeen, I threw up before and after every cheerleading performance and first date. But we won state, I was cheerleading co-captain, and the…

to know and to be known, to see and to be seen

The kitchen is clean. Chips and grapes and candies are poured into serving bowls. Candles are lit. Their light dances around the room, glowing and making everything warm. Little notes are cut and colored, precisely folded and decorated with illustrations, and my friends’ names. The clock strikes six; the girls filter in, one by one.…

who am i when i am alone?

Who am I when I am alone?I used to be a writer, someone who typed, and penned,And spoke. Full of imagination and thought.Words poured from my mind, pooled at the tips of my fingers, holy water, like blessing’s oil, soothing my own disquieted soulFrom the chaos of the not-notated, the experience not sealed Into eternal remembrance.…

if you’d like

Touch, I beg you, with my longing eyes,For still, I speak too meek to say the words.So shower me with endless, proud supplyOf kisses asked for by requests unheard.I want you! Can’t you see the way I blush?The way I lose my wits when you’re around?  How goosebumps prick my arms when yours I touch?Desire in…

i’ve never loved a soul like i love yours

I’ve never loved a soul like I love yoursIn all my years of life, none have come closeTo rivaling the way I feel so sureThat you’re the heart and soul I love the most.I love you more than summer, more than seaI love you more than dawn or break of day.I love you like you…

i don’t have to care

I seek out books about progressive faith,Read women write about the role their sex plays.I read books by Christians in all deconstruction stages,I stalk their citations and flip through their pages– Then I remember! I don’t have to care.I don’t have to read the words that are there.I already know the church’s stance is unfair.I…

keeping track of happy memories

I don't have any poetic way to phrase it, but it's something I don't want to lose. A quiet morning, our sleepy heads on the same pillow, the birds chirping outside our cracked windows. I have to go into the office today, and I don't want to. I want to be slow, and lay in…

on letting loose

It’s July in Charleston, and I’m sixteen years old sitting on a bench outside of Jason’s Deli, some pop fiction book in hand, dripping with sweat while waiting for my friends who can drive to come pick me up. They pick on me because I could’ve gotten my restricted license almost a year ago if…

i am tired of working through this

I miss the ease of believing. I miss breathing in the wind deeply and noticing the way it peels back the flower from its petals and attributing it to God. I miss seeing majesty and intention. Of lifting my chin to the sun and feeling His hand against my cheek, warm and kind. Holding me.…

brain clog

I sit on my apartment porch and watch the turning-yellow leaves move in the wind. The longer I look at them, the less real they appear, turning into something flat and two-dimensional instead. A painting, just colors layered and pressed flat on top of one another, animated through computer software to shake and shiver in…

brain dump in the back of an uber

butternut squash soup for the soul

Butternut squash soupEverything bagel bread bowlInsecure slurping